Monday, March 16, 2009

this is why im fat.

there are probably a lot more reasons to why you are fat then this a lack of exercise, shitty slow metabolism (fuck your parents and their shitty genetics.) or maybe this is why you're fat. But this is why im fat. i was in line for lunch today to get a burrito, not only did i get the burrito that i wanted, i recently discovered that the very authentic, delicious and nutritious, burrito stand: big mouth burrito serves daily specials. Today is Monday. its raining out, its been raining all day... and its also finals week. how much shittier can that get? Well, every Monday the special is churros? WHATT!!?? and with that all my stress , wet socks and finals were fried away in a churro

As a kid I would spend the entire day running around eating samples while my mom bought costco shit: 10lbs of mixed cheese, 30 pairs of cotton socks, air fresheners that came in 6 different scents. After all the red checkered table cloth sample stations and being harassed by the old women in hair nets about food allergies, I would be most excited for the costco food court. Walking towards the checkout, all I could remember seeing was the large picture menu, that looked too good to be true. The foods were always so perfect, so perfect, even the hot dog looked a little sweaty like I just came off the grill. It had just the right amount of relish, and two lines of ketchup and mustard with just the right amount of wave on them. Then there was the chicken bake, and the very berry smoothie, and frozen yogurt with or without fruit, ice cream on a sick, and pizza by the slice or order it by the pie and then the churro.

It none of those food made a lasting impression on my like the churro did. i cant be made with the hot dog, sure it was on a all beef polish dog, sure the very berry smoothie was very berry tasking, and the chicken in the chicken bake was definitely baked chicken. i had a lot of choices to choose from, and the choice i chose was the churro. I can deeply remember the huge sign, and in blue bold print underneath, a price of only one dollar. churros ould be one of the most underrated, foods ever. It fulfills major parts of the yummy foods pyramid. It is very high in sugar, its deep fried. also very reminiscent of cinnamon toast crunch, which could be considered the healthy alternative to churros if you choose to live a healthy life stlye or have self image problems and cant afford the extra calories . I like how the taste of butter, (or oil, or shortening in the batter or what ever it is,) how is makes me feel good and fat at the same time. I like the sugar that gets lost in my clothing like sand, but this sand is tasty and lick it from under my finger nails. Lick my finger and try to get all the sugar the corner of the paper sleeve it comes in. the churro is consistent, the first bite is as full of sugary goodness, crisp crunch and warm fluff on the inside, as the last bite.

And then one day they changed the sign from churros to fucking pretzels... fucking pretzels? I tired the pretzels, I was not impressed. They even had the nerve to make a cinnamon sugar pretzel. It tastes the way vitamin water taste... watered down juice. This pretzel tasted like a watered down churro, and that really pissed me off. I hate the taste of watered down shit. What the fuck costco, you fucked up big time
So i say we have churro mondays from now on.

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